Sunday, April 19, 2015

Our little...big drummer boy

When Scott and I tell people that Juwan loves to drum, they give us that "oh I'm so sorry for you" look.  Then we tell them that his grandpa gave us a full drum set and they give us the "I hope you know what you've gotten yourself into" look.  I find this amazing.  Parents that buy pianos, violins, or flutes for their kids do not get the same reactions.  More often than not they are praised for broadening their children's horizons by giving them the gift of music.  Drummers, on the other hand, I feel get a bad rap. As if they are only going to create a whole lot of noise!  Now, there are times when I  am glad the drums are in the basement, but they are still loud.  I must also confess that I am often reminding Juwan that he has a drum set down stairs if he would like to drum, instead of using his silverware and plate.  For it seems that Juwan is constantly drumming on something.  He really does love music and making his own percussion.  But he is also, five years old and painfully shy.  I don't say this as if it's a negative characteristic.  When he makes up his mind about someone, he is not the least bit shy.  However, it usually takes him a while to get to that point.  If we were to get him into drum lessons he would probably not let go of my leg long enough to even pick up the drum sticks! So, thus he is our little...big drummer boy.

Juwan is such a great kid.  He loves to tumble, play basketball, drum, sing, dance, and be silly.  If a smile could cure the woes of the heart, then all anyone would have to do is look upon his great, big smile and all would be well!  He also loves our cat Philamina.  You can often find him holding her or playing with her.  Many nights she is asleep curled up at the end of his feet.  Another thing that has changed with my Juwany-boo is how tall he is getting!  Yes, everyone grows, but he is getting so tall. He is already taller than his big brother Brennan who is almost 7.  I feel bad for him because often people expect older behavior from him when he is still only five years old.  Next year he will be starting kindergarden.  Time truly is flying by!  It seems like just yesterday he was in my bed singing Jesus loves me, in his sweet baby voice.  I can't wait to continue to watch God mold him into the man he will become.  Yet with all my hopes and dreams for him, also come fears.

All too soon, I fear that the world will not look on him as this sweet, shy little boy with a wonderful smile.  Instead I dread that too many will see him as a tall, black, young man that they fear.  Or that they will look on him with hate and distrust, simply because his skin is brown.  In that respect, I long for the years to slow way down before he has to face the ugly truths that still lurk in the shadows. Or experience the scary realities that do not hide but rear their ugly heads in plain day light.  But today, he is five. Today he is my little...big drummer boy.  He is my Juwany-boo who laughs his infectious laugh and changes his clothes five times a day depending on if he is a ninja or a basketball player.  Today, I will stand on God's truths and pray His protection over my sweet little boy like most mothers of little boys do.  Today, I will pray that Juwan will not become another sad statistic, that he will be judged by his character and not by the color of his skin, that his spirit will not be tainted by the ugly realities of racism in our world, and that his life will be protected from the irresponsible acts that arise from this most mothers of little black boys do.


Chuck Davidson said...

So glad he is enjoying the drums. It can be a way a quite boy can relate to others.

Scott and Emily's Blog said...

So true!